I get no respect.  No respect! R-E-S-P-ECT, I wish I knew what it means to me.  That is a great song. Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it.  I can’t listen to it anymore because of DEI being eliminated.  I am really starting to regret this blanket ban on all DEI stuff.  I can’t listen to any popular music or movies.  It is like my whole world is cut off.  Anyway, so today, I graciously invited that comedian dictator from the land formally known as the Ukraine.  I think his name is Voldemort Zelenski, the King of Auto Parts.  I even stepped back my comments about him being an unelected dictator just to show some good faith while he was a guest in the White House today.  You know, I am in very delicate knowgoatinations with my BFF Vladimir Putin about the country formally known as the Ukraine.  I am trying to broker the best deal for the end of the war.  One that best serves Russia and the United States, in that order.  Little Voldemort keeps thinking that he has a say in the matter for some reason.  I mean, come on, he doesn’t even have elections or a mandate like I do!  So I keep telling him, that hey, we spent like A LOT of money on the country formally known as the Ukraine and now I am stepping up and doing exactly what Putin tells me to do in order to broker a piece deal that will allow some part of Ukraine to exist and as long as that piece has the mineral rights that Mr. Musk wants.  I am all for that piece deal.  The America’s get exclusive mining rights to whatever is left of Ukraine after Putin redraws the borders.  I really hope that Putin doesn’t take the piece with the minerals that Mr. Musk wants, because that would be bad.  Elon might hit me.

So I’m like trying to explain this to Voldemort and he starts to get a little heated.  He doesn’t think that Putin should be cutting his country up because apparently Ukrainians live there or something.  You know what is the big deal?  I can’t tell the difference when looking at the people.  Can anyone explain to me just what the hell is the difference is between a Russian and a Ukrainian?  I don’t think there is one.  They are one people, just like those Taiwanese people and China.  They are all Chinese!  North and South Korea!  Why are they not just 1 country!  I don’t get it why all these groups are separated.  They should all be one!  It would make my life a lot easier that is for sure.  So Voldemort starts getting loud about this and LP Vince, bless his little heart, jumps in and trys to defend me.  I knew I picked him for a reason.  He is the best at sucking up.  Ever since I told him that he would not be getting my endorsement for President he has been sucking up so hard thinking that I might change my mind.  Sorry Vince, no can do.  I am pretty sure that I am endorsing Putin.  So Voldemort is angry about this but I am in a very delicate Putin appeasement agreement and there is no place for some little would-be dictator that doesn’t hold elections.  So he storms out of the meeting, very BAD manners.  You know Voldemort, the whole world was watching you and you dropped the ball.  I get no respect!  No respect I say!