The time for the Quickening is at hand.  I remember that is what my old mentor, Jeffery Epstein, said to me before I had to take his head and gain his power.  THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!  You might have noticed that I am going after all these autocratic leaders all over the world and trying to take them out.  That is because in my world.  A gritty world, one of power grabbing, power groping, and never being held accountable for anything EVER.  There can be only one true dictator.  That is going to be me.  That is the Prize and I aim to get it.  But there are rules, you know.  We don’t usually talk about the rules.  Just like the first rule of Jeffery’s Lolita Island was that you don’t talk about Jeffery’s Lolita Island.  Well, someone screwed the baby on that one.  Let me tell you.  I had to start a whole war in Irap to get people from realizing that we haven’t released the files and never will if I win the Prize.  So the rules of the Highlander are these.

RULE ONE – THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!  Duh!  What is the whole point of this if I am not the only dictator left?  I guess it was gods fault that I was born into a democracy that hates dictators and dictatorships.  Not a good look in the america.  I have been trying to wear these people down.  With my gold decorations and just doing things and ignoring the ‘separation of powers’ or something?  Anyone know what that is or means?  It is just two bad that I couldn’t have been born into a real dictatorship like Germany or something?

RULE TWO – The Gathering must take place.  Soon after I get rid of leaders of Cuba or Rocket Man or something.  There will be so few dictators left that we will have to Gather, look I don’t make the rules on names or anything this is what that documentary that I saw on the TV said, to determine who will win the prize.  Of course, I have already gotten my doctors note excusing me from the Gathering because of my perfectly formed bone spurs that also appear to be hereditary?  Barron somehow got them from me and guess what, they are somehow even more perfect than my own.  I hope this doesn’t mean that Barron is a Highlander two!  I would hate to have to cut his head off, but I have to win that Prize.  Whatever it is.

RULE 3 – This is more like a gentlemen’s agreement than a hard rule, but generally, other dictators are not supposed to interfere with one another during MORTAL KOMBAT.  Frowned upon really.  So like right now my good friend and possibly handler, Vladimir Putin, is trying to gain the power of the Ukraine by beheading that nasty Voldemort over there.  But to appease the people of the america I was forced to intervene in his fight to keep myself in office.  So I promised to end that war on day one, but you know, these Highlander things are complicated.  Anyway, now I saw a youtube video that maybe Putin is helping Irap find and hit american targets?  Well turnabout is fair play I guess?  Anyway, it isn’t like anyone is going to miss any losers that get killed.

RULE FOUR – THE PRIZE.  What is it?  What does it do?  I watched all 4 or 5 documentaries on the Highlander way of life and I still can’t quite figure out what it is.  Maybe something good though!  So I have to take out all this dictators so I can be the ONLY ONE.  Putin, you are my Kurgan, and you know what happened to him.  Better get prepared to fight Drinky Pete in a 1pv1 metal cage grudge match to the death because I have my doctors note right here and laminated so it doesn’t get damaged.