Anyway, apparently there is all this hoopla in Minnemouslipse?  Somewhere in that state.  According to the news reports that the TV people keep talking about one of my highly trained ICE FORCE (coolest name ever) shot an unarmed and scared civilian.  Now this was totally her fault.  I saw the video and saw that agent was running scared for his life as she was turning away from him then somehow running him down.  Heroically, he was able to get a couple shots off before being run over while she was pulling away.  You know he went to the hospital and everything.  Then later on he left the scene under his own power, lucky to be alive.  Both Kristie Nole and Cash Money both told me that the agent was both fighting for his life and going home to his family unharmed.  One thing I do know is that all of my ICE FORCE (coolest name ever) agents go through a rigorous 3 day training before they are issued a badge and weapon to use against my enemies, real or imaginary.  They are highly trained experts in dealing with high pressure situations.  That class happens on day 1 for about 20 minutes with a 10 minute break in there.  So they have the skills and the training.  You know who doesn’t usually have training?  Civilians.  Totally her fault.  In fact, I have it on Good authority that she was some kind of narcoterrorism cell leader and was raising/training 3 kids as terrorists too.  I don’t know how this will all play out, but even if it appears that this was cold blooded murder because you know, undertrained and incompetent agents and leaders, it’s for the greater Good.  We are getting those illegals out of this country.  This reminds me of something my daddy once told me.    

My daddy was a very wise man.  Very tough.  Built everything himself, he always told me.  When something went wrong in our house, when someone made a mistake, he’d say, “Donny, progress isn’t neat.  If you want results, you can’t worry about the mess.”  He taught me that order matters more than people, and that consequences are just the price of doing business.  If someone got hurt along the way, that was unfortunate, but necessary.  You can’t stop moving forward just because someone was in the way. Weakness slows things down.  That lesson stuck with me.  It’s how I run companies.  It’s how I run the country.  You focus on the goal, you ignore the noise, and if something breaks, you say it was unavoidable.  Maybe even call it heroic.  So if mistakes happen, if the wrong person gets caught up in it, that’s not failure.  That’s efficiency.  You don’t ask questions.  You don’t look back.  You move on to the next problem and tell everyone it was for the greater Good.  After all, you can’t make a omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.
President