You know what I never get tired of?  Winning baby!  I love to win.  Do you know what makes me tired though?  When I have to listen or pay attention to people talking and maybe even saying important things.  You know, I just start to drift off.  My eyelids get all heavy, like the sandman is just dumping whole beaches into them and I start to nod off.  You know he was like the hardest fighter for Little Mac to beat in Punch Out!!  STICK AND MOVE I would yell and then he would just unleash the ole’ Dreamland Express and Mac would just go down.  TKO!  So anyway, some of this falling asleep is because I am the oldest serving President ever and some of it is because I am up all night screaming at the TV People and some of it is because I sleep in a hydrobaric chamber to add minutes onto my lifespan and that thing is noisy.  All the air being pushed in and out through a filtration system and the IV to pump fluids into my body so I get the vitamins that I don’t get because my entire diet consists of big macs and diet coke.  I am just so tired all of the time.  I thought that Sleepy Joe was sleepy!  He has nothing on me.  It has gotten so bad that I am thinking about painting eyes on my eyelids so that it looks like I am awake and paying attention.  I think I saw that in some documentary about pirates or something when I was trying to relax after an all-night bender screaming at Rachel Maddox and twatting about Elon Musk on his fake TRUTH copy.  I gotta get those zees in somehow.  Better when someone not as important as I am is talking as opposed to when I am talking.  No one better be asleep when I am talking!

So my latest achievement is I just won an entire set of Ozempic Metals.  Can you believe that?  They just gave them to me for being the best President in the history of the world.  That Ozempic guy, Casey Jones said you know what, here is a complete set of the metals.  You won them for being the best President ever and for not being a second rate President like all the other Presidents.  It was such an honor you know.  I can’t wait to display them in the Gold Ambush Office.  It will look really snazzy next to my other trophies and metals that I have won.  Like the FIFI trophy that I got for leading the US MENS SOCCER TEAM to victory and the metal that went along with that one that I got on stage after I presented the fake FIFI trophy to my co-captain and then stayed on stage to make sure that everyone knew I scored the winning goal and deserved to be up there.  Those Ozempic metals are going right next to my many DONALD TRUMP INVENTATIONAL GOLF trophies that I am always winning at these golf courses that I own.  I just can’t stop winning them.  I am just that good and I also have really good caddies.  Now I could have sworn that I hit that ball in the rough, wait no, there it is right next to the hole on the 14^rd green.  Right where I shot it.