Everyone is always telling me, hey why you hate immigrants?  I see it all day on the truthX or something.  Maybe it was the TicTok?  Anyway.  People always say I hate immigrants.  I don’t hate the immigrants!  That is totally why I have that psychopath Kristy Noel running homeland security and ICE (coolest name ever).  Because I hate immigrants.  You know, she is so cold that she shot her puppy in front of her kids and then shot a kid!  Not one of her kids, well I think it was her kid, but not her REAL kid.  A baby goat.  She said that it was commin’ right at them and blammo!  Shot it dead.  Just like her dog.  Turns out the dog was not responding to her and she just put a gun to it’s head and blammo!  Anyway, you ever see anyone so cool under pressure.  She was being torn apart by the congress and she just had this totally blank look in her eyes.  Like there was not a light of anything behind them.  Scary.  I’ll tell you that much.  She scares the hell out of me.  Sometimes when I am staring at her in the cabinet meetings because DUH! She shoots me a look that goes right through me, like I am not even there.  Creepy.  I am thinking that Melonia might have to do some ghost hunting investigation on her.  Maybe she is a ghost or something?  So she is the one getting all of the immigrants out of the country because I hate them so much.  Well, not all immigrants.  You see I really only hate the wrong immigrants.  Those are the immigrants that are not white or can’t afford my very reasonable TRUMP GOLD IMMIGRATION CARD for $5 million dollars.  Those immigrants are not welcome in my america.  Just to prove that I don’t hate asylum seeking immigrants I just welcomed a bunch from South Africa.  You see!  I don’t hate immigrants!  I’m taking immigrants from AFRICA!  Can you believe it?  I am the most tolerant President ever!  You ever see Biden welcome immigrants from South Africa?  LIAR!  YOU DID NOT!

Elon told me all about it.  I had to listen to him or he was going to slap me again.  So it turns out that like 500 years ago or something the Dutch founded South Africa and they were like in charge.  Rich, white, landowning men.  Afrikkkaners, are what they called themselves.  I love that little KA sound in there.  KAKAKA.  Those are my kinds of people!  I love those guys!  They are the best.  Anyway, they like were the rulers of the country or something even though they were just a small minority of white people.  That is another reason why I am getting this immigrant situation cleaned up.  Can you imagine in the america if white people were the minority?  I can’t even imagine a tragedy like that!  Something like that would give me nightmares for at least a week.  Anyway, they had it good.  In control, playing golf and generally making sure that the country was running correctly.  They had what is called apart-tide.  I am not 100% what that was but according to Elon, it was good.  Anyway, this system worked for several hundreds of years until some guy named Mandible showed up and got rid of it.  So now the white guys are no longer in total control and all hell breaks loose.  MS13 shows up in full force and start taking over Cape Town, and Town Town, and Sun Town all these towns.  These white guys got to get out of South Africa now but no one wants to help them because they support apart-tide.  Guess what though?  I am helping them!  Because their farms and stuff are totally in danger from MS13 and I can’t have white people being threatened by MS13.  So I brought them here.  I am totally welcoming these immigrants, seeking asylum, with open arms.  You see, if you are white and being threatened by some black or brown gang members you are totally welcome.  All others.  KEEP OUT or pay me $5 million dollars.  Then you are OK.