Do you know what I always dreamed?  I always wanted to be a head football coach.  That job is like the greatest.  You get to coach football players.  Of course it is not too dissimilar to being the President of the america.  You still have to like draft the best people and coach them to be their best.  Actually scratch that.  It is nothing like being the president.  I don’t want the best people on my team and I defiantly don’t want them to be the best at anything.  That would be a threat to me and my perceived power!  But when you are a head coach, the ball game changes.  You have to lead and you have to win!  You know I remember back in my old high school days.  Daddy sent me to a military school you know.  I guess I was on a bad path.  Playing with knives out in that central park with my MS13 buddies.  Oh yeah, back in 1958 I founded MS13 with my friends.  MS meaning Mighty Switchblades and 13 being the number of knives we collected.  It was the most feared private school gang in New York’s Central Park.  We ruled over the Bow Bridge area with an iron fist.  Not even the BLUE BLOODS or the El Silver Spoons could challenge our turf.  Once Daddy saw that though it was no more regular private school for me.  Packed me right off to the military academy.  So I have sealed all of the records from my old high school days so none of this is actually verifiable, but I was pretty much their star athlete.  I was the captain of the baseball, football, soccer, and tiddlywinks teams.  I even got my varsity letter in tiddlywinks.  I was so good at the baseball, that I was scouted by all the professional teams.  All of them.  I was the best hitter on my HS13 team.  My batting average was like 1.000!  I hit it out the park every time I was at bat.  Always swinging at the fences!  I was that good, just ask those scouts now how good I was.  Of course, I had to give up my dreams about playing professionally and go to the family business.  But, you know what I can do now though?  Armchair Quarterback!  You know now that I am running the country into the ground, I have all this time now to just peruse my passions and the football is one of them.  I just watched all the NFL drafts and I was so upset that Shaddok Sanders did not get drafted in the first round!  I was so upset that I had to go to truth social and spend hours coming up with this TRUTH! 

                “What is wrong with NFL owners, are they STUPID?” Trump posted on his social-media platform. “Deion Sanders was a great college football player, and was even greater in the NFL. He’s also a very good coach, streetwise and smart! Therefore, Shedeur, his quarterback son, has PHENOMENAL GENES, and is all set for Greatness. He should be ‘picked’ IMMEDIATELY by a team that wants to WIN. Good luck Shedeur, and say hello to your wonderful father!”   

Dion Mustard is a good friend of mine and I had promised that I would get his boy a first round draft pick.  You know, if I had been a head coach this travesty of justice would never have happened.