One word.  Golf.  I love to golf.  You know, I have now been President of the America for 50 days (3 DAYS REMAINING) and I have hit the links 13 times during those 50 days.  That is like 26% of the time I have been in office!  I am always working for the people all of the time, but hey, you know, sometimes you gotta work for me.  My job is a lot harder than yours and I need the rest.  Signing things with my fat sharpie takes a lot of work and I got to keep my grip strength up.  You know how much it costs, you, not me, to have my SS forces to clear the courses before I get down to some small ball?  $1.83 million dollars!  You believe that.  Everytime I hit the green, while I am not focusing on the dismantling of the government, I am costing the poor and middle class tons of money!  It balances out.  Everytime I go golfing that is less money to available to fund things like “scientific research”.  I love owing golf courses, especially when I can double dip at my own and charge the little people even more money. 

I really hated the recent time change.  You know.  Here I am, asleep, on Sunday, and all of a sudden the time changes and when I wake up it is an hour later than it was before I went to bed!  Creepy how that works.  How does time do that?  How does it know to change?  How do magnets work?  ALL UNANSWERED BY SCIENCE.  That is why I don’t trust this hole global warming.  Its like scientists say the earth is heating up or something, so I say PROVE IT and they are like, we can’t because you cut our funding or some other nonsense.  Anyway, I was so for getting rid of the DST.  People were like telling me that the DST is bad.  People get into accidents more often during DST.  Planes crash more often during DST.  Seems like this DST is a huge pain in the neck.  What is DST?  Anyway, I was talking about that during my campaign and people they seemed to be in favor of it so I was in favor of it.  I have a mandate!  Then a little bird whispered into my ear.  DST is good for the golf and you know I love golf.  Turns out the golf lobby, YES there is such a thing look it up, is all for the DST.  So even though I supported ending the DST.  The golf lobby, who gives me plenty of money and lets me golf on all of the most respected courses for free and lets me promote my courses, says they like the DST.  Now I am saying hey, maybe this DST thing could be good.  Good for the people who take their kids to school in the morning and good for the golf courses who need that extra hour of sunlight so people can play golf.  I like playing golf too!  See how our goals line up!  BY THE WAY did you see how they damaged my very precious golf course over there in the Scotland?  My very elite and world class golf course, TURNBERRY, was vandolized by that Voldemort Zalinskyy!  He is so mad that I am helping my buddy Putin now that he flew all the way to Scotland to give it to me where it hurts.  You saw my precious greens, all torn up and my building defaced.  I know the graffiti said something about my plan to resettle GAGAZA, but that was just FAKE NEWS!  I know it was you ZELENSKI!  I’m coming for you now and my piece of the Ukraine!