My dreams have come true!  I am a war time president!  The best war time president.  You know.  Better than that other guy.  You know the crippled one?  That guy.  I am not even crippled!  That automatically makes me better!  My most perfect uncrippled body.  All the doctors say so.  So I pushed the button, finally.  I got to push the button right next to my diet coke button on my desk!  So exciting!  I was so nervous that I accidently pushed my diet coke button.  You know, the one I had installed in the Gold Office so I could get a diet coke (hot or cold) brought to me right away.  The diet coke valet, can you believe that?  A personal valet for my diet coke, jumped out of the diet coke closet and scared the hell out of me.  Otherwise, it was the most beautiful button push.  I pushed the button and authorized the strike on Irap.  Can you believe it?  I was just saying how I would never lead in a time of war and now I have inserted myself into the unending middle east conflict.  Such a bigly and beautiful strike.  Totally took out the nucular sights.  Irap won’t be building the Bomb on my watch.

But of course the commielibs had to raise up a stink.  I can never just do what I want without people protesting and then getting arrested and then deported, sometimes to the Gulf of America.  So, now they are saying something about how I need to have “approval of the congress” to make a war or some other nonsense.  I am the COMMANDER IN CHIEF.  That means like I am in charge of the army and maybe navy?  All I have to do is just say deploy these troops and like the generals, you know, they deploy them.  Remember my parade?  I don’t, but I heard it was the most perfect display of power and celebration of my birthday.  I authorized that.  I didn’t have to go through no congress, whatever that is, to get my parade.  Did you see how successful that was?  Everyone all over the country were celebrating!  It was beautiful.  I saw so many celebrations on the TV.  All the TV people were saying how many people showed up at all the great american cities to help celebrate my birthday.  Brought tears to my eyes that everyone loves me so much.  Validates my entire existence.  I don’t need the “approval of the congress” you know.  My handler and best friend (NOT ELON!) Vladimir Putin told me the secret.  How does it work? Easy. It’s not a war if I call it a special military operation. And special operations don’t need “approval of the congress”. That’s just facts. So now I’m thinking… what’s next for my special military liberation? Greenland again? Maybe California? Gotta save the lagomorphs from the radical Nazi ideological threat over there. Somebody has to do it. Might as well be me.